For Starters

Probably one of the most powerful influences in humankind is sexual drive. It comes to us at puberty and motivates much of how we look (or want to look) and why we act as we do. It is such a powerful force in life, however, that, if we aren't careful, it can wreck our lives, physically and spiritually. Let's give some thought to the Bible's (God's) teaching about this very compelling and yet dangerous part of life.

So, What's the Story?

What's sex for?

God, of course, since He is the Creator of all things and even pronounced them "very good" (Gen. 1:31), is also the Creator of our sexuality, too. Sex's primary purpose, of course, is to perpetuate mankind, "God blessed them (Adam and Eve) and said to them, 'Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.'" (Genesis 1:28, NIV). Secondly, sexuality was intended for pleasure and bonding between a husband and wife: "The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." (1 Corinthians 7:3-5, NIV). Like food for which our bodies also have an appetite, and which is both nourishing and pleasurable, so sexuality was made by our Creator to serve both a practical and enjoyable purpose. The proper and godly expression of sexuality as created by the Lord is strictly within the context of marriage between husband and wife--nowhere else.

What sex is not for:

Like many other things that God has given to us, however, man has managed to corrupt and pervert the things that God declared to be "very good". Like with food and other enjoyable things, mankind has assumed that if some is good, more and variety must be better, and so they have often turned what was intended to be a thing of beauty into something dark, animalistic, and craven. The following are a few examples:

lust--the desire for a sexual encounter which is not proper; it is the thought before the deeds that follow; "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Matthew 5:28, NIV).

sensuality--the attitude of heart and behavior which seeks and invites improper sexual behavior; an attitude which longs for fleshly desire; "The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity (sensuality) and debauchery..." (Galatians 5:19, NIV).

pornography--any sort of picture, video, film, book, poetry, song, story, live performance, jokes, etc. that would promote lust or perversion, or vulgarize the proper place and context of godly sexuality; "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." (Philippians 4:8, NIV). Pornography has been the starting point for many an affair and divorce.

auto-sexuality--sexual stimulation performed on oneself and accompanied by lustful fantasies about someone else; notice what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5--no alternative is given to normal marital sexual relations for sexual fulfillment.

petting--the erotic touching or fondling of someone else's sexual parts (i.e.--breasts, genital areas); sometimes referred to as "foreplay"; Ezekiel (23:17,21) compares Israel to a promiscuous young woman who allows herself to be fondled and refers to her as being "defiled". Such activity cannot help but promote increased lust, not diminish it.

premarital sex--sexual activity between two unmarried people up to and including actual sexual intercourse; Deuteronomy 22:13-29 is a section of Old Testament Scripture that clearly shows God's disapproval of premarital sexual activity. Likewise, the New Testament teaches that we should not be engaged in such things, "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people." (Ephesians 5:3, NIV).

homosexuality--sexual activity with anyone of the same sex; Lev. 20:13 / Romans 1:27,32 / and Jude 7 are examples of several passages that prohibit this behavior and the apostle Paul makes God's judgment very clear indeed to people living in a culture where homosexuality was very common, "Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God" (1 Corinthians 6:9,10, NIV).

adultery--sexual activity between people in which at least one person is married to someone else; it is a serious enough offense that it remains the single reason that Jesus allowed as a proper cause for divorce.

So What?

* Are there two standards in the Bible for men and for women? Are there two sets of standards in our society? Why? What are the physical consequences for women as opposed to men? How does God judge these things?
* Society has begun to justify things like prostitution and pornography as "victimless crimes". Do you think these are "victimless" sins? If there's a victim, who is it?
* Does it make any difference to God (when it comes to sexual morality) whether it's the 20th century, the 1st century, or the 50th century? Do the standards of sexual behavior change with the times?